The Adventures of Max Loud
by LoudHouseSMG4Guy
Summary: After his parents fail to show up for child collection after camp, Max is adopted by the Loud family. How on earth does this have views?


**Hey, everyone! I have no idea how this managed to get as many views as it did, considering it's the only story in its section. I'm sorry for promising a first chapter so soon, and I'm more sorry it's been four months. First there was finals, and then I got a new job. But here's a decent first chapter!**

David lowered the phone once again. He had called every camper's parents, begging that they tell him Max's parents' number.

But none of them knew.

David looked out the window to where Max sat, hood pulled entirely over his head and hugging his knees. He knew it would happen. Both of them did. His parents hadn't even bothered writing his surname. If Camp Cambell abided by the law, he wouldn't have been here in the first place. But, as David was painfully aware of, the camp didn't have a clean criminal record. Not without some bribes, anyway.

David set the phone on the desk. There wasn't anyone else to call. No one would call, asking where their son was. David was a very optimistic person, but not getting a call was most likely the BEST case scenario at this point. David felt a hand on his shoulder, and shook his head.

"No one. Not a single parent knows his."

"What are we going to do? We can't take care of him. We can barely take care of OURSELVES, for god's sake."

"I don't know, Gwen." David hung his head as he sat down. "I don't know."

* * *

"If my calculations are correct, and they most assuredly are according to 2,000 re-calculations, our total remaining income for this month after all expenses, assuming no bonuses or gifts, is $840.33."

"OMGosh! Does that mean we're millionaires?!"

"No, Leni, but it is a good amount of money to have left over. Are you positive that's accurate?"

"Are you doubting my calculations? I could show you the process if you would-"

"We're not doubting your calculations, necessarily. I'm doubting that we spent little enough to actually have that much left over. Are you sure you got the taxes right?"

"I calculated multiple times, with the final calculations being based upon the highest amount paid in taxes based upon 350 estimates. This is the worst case scenario, unless someone has been making purchases without my knowledge."

"$840? You know, dad, it IS about time I get a car..."

"No, Lori, this money's going into savings. It's about time you get money for college."

"Whatever."

"Here in the Loud House, it's hard to not spend every cent we have and then some, but thanks to Lori's new job, plus mom and dad both getting raises and promotions, we're starting to get big surpluses."

"You know, Honey, at this point we could afford another kid!" Lynn Sr. joked.

"That is correct, paternal parental unit. Under national poverty guidelines, a minimum of only $360 is required each month to properly supplement a child."

"Oh! Oh! Can we get a new sister?!"

"Can you make her a pretty one?! It gets lonely being the only one!"

"Are you kidding? I need a sib who knows how to handle a ball!"

"No way, dudes! We need another rocker!"

"What about you, Lori?"

"Are you literally kidding me? I've already got enough siblings, and besides, I'd probably go to college before they even learn to walk anyway."

"We need another child of the night."

"All of you, quiet. You're not getting a baby sibling." The statement was followed by ten collective groans. "Now, your father, Lisa, and I will budget the money we have left. There might be some left to put towards a vacation, but no promises. Understood?"

* * *

David stepped outside, and paused for a moment before he continued walking. He sat down next to the blue mass, which hardly reacted to his presence. David knew trying to give the boy a hug was a deathwish, so he tried to comfort him the only other way he knew how.

"Max..."

"Go away." The sound of the boy's crying became much more obvious when he spoke, making David feel that much worse. David sighed.

"Don't you want to wait inside, where it's colder?"

"I'm not waiting." Max choked out. "There's no one to wait for."

David stood up, defeated. As he turned around, he saw Gwen signal for him to come to her. David looked at Max once more before walking back to the counselor's cabin.

"What is it, Gwen? Did you find them?"

"No, David. That isn't an option at this point." Gwen said with a sigh. "But I looked up a bunch of families, specifically, a bunch with a lot of kids."

"All here in the state?"

"Yup. Hopefully, one of them'll take the little shit."

"Are you sure this'll work?"

"It has to, David." Gwen said as she sat down. "There's nothing else to do."

* * *

"What do you think we're going to get with the extra money?"

"Maybe a new fancy camera!" The resident model answered.

"I think they'll buy a zoo!"

"Leni, zoos aren't that cheap."

"That's what the extra money's for, silly!"

"Leni, you- you know what, forget it. I think we should-"

"No."

"What?"

"No, Lincoln. I literally know what you're thinking, and no."

"But-"

"Yeah, Lori's right, Lincoln. It's a cool idea, but it just wouldn't work." Lana interjected.

"How-"

"Sorry, little bro. Hey, guys, what about surround sound?"

"Being the only boy in the family means that nine times out of ten, your idea's going to be unpopular before you even get a chance to give it. It happens all the time. Okay, not ALL the time, but most of the time. Even more when you guys AREN'T here. I didn't get a chance to say it before, but if we were going to have a new baby, I would have asked for a brother. At least then we'd be one sixth instead of one eleventh."

Lisa, Lynn Sr., and Rita were suddenly interrupted by the sound of the doorbell. All of the kids with IQs of below 100 watched the door from the corner at the top of the stairs as Rita opened the door to what appeared to be two campers, plus a small boy in a blue hoodie.

"Hello, Mrs. Loud, I presume?"

"Yes, that's me. And you are...?"

"I'm David, and this is Gwen. We're camp counselors up at camp Cambell."

"Oh, okay, I've heard of that place. Wouldn't send my kids there, personally, if that's what you're here for."

"No, ma'am, it's not that. See, this is Max. His parents didn't come to pick him up after camp."

"Did you try calling them?"

"We don't know their number."

"You should. Don't they give you a form?" Rita was answered with a piece of paper in David's hand. She looked at the form for a second. "Oh my. Would you three like to come in?"

"Thank you." David said as the three of them stepped into the Loud Household. They got situated in the living room as Rita relayed the information to her genius daughter and husband.

"That's terrible..."

"And highly illegal."

"So, what are they here for?"

"I don't know yet, but let's go find out together." As Rita entered the living room, she turned to Max. "Max, would you like to go play with my children? I think they're all in the back yard." Max was silent.

"I think that's a no." Gwen answered for him.

"So," Lynn Sr. asked. "What are you here for?"

"Well, sir-"

"Please, call my Lynn."

"Alright. Lynn, Mrs. Loud, we've been going to a lot of different houses, trying to find a foster family for him. Maybe for a week or two, maybe for a few years. We tried to go to everyone with a relatively large family, but so far, they've turned us down. They can't afford him. We were wondering if you could take care of him."

"Theoretically, yes. We had a surplus of $840 this month, which exceeds 230% of the minimum amount required to properly care for a child according to national poverty guidelines. As for the question of our sanity, the jury is still out." Lisa answered from the dining room.

"Really?" David asked eagerly, looking to the household's heads. Rita and Lynn Sr. looked at each other, and nodded.

"I'll tell the kids. You're in luck, they were just asking for a new sibling earlier today."

"Thank you." David said. He said it again and again.

Yet Max still frowned.


End file.
